Some people feel like it’s a chore, while others will love to do it, but it’s always something very intimate. You show your culture, your personality, your skills, and also your feelings. Sometimes, it remembers your childhood, the time you spent with your family. Especially at big family meetings. 

What am I talking about? FOOD. COOKING. In my opinion, the best way to learn about the people you’ve just met is to eat with them or cook with them. You will learn about this person’s history or the country’s history. For example, why do Macedonians eat burek or kebapi? We can have this answer in the history of the country. 

Why doesn’t your family eat beef, pork, or seafood? Probably there is a link between your religion or your political beliefs. And depending on how it works in your family, you can express your feelings across food. 

For example, in my culture, we don’t really show our feelings/emotions, but when you do something nice, your mom, dad, or grandma will probably cook your favorite meal. An argument happened between you and your parents, you were right, they knew you were right, but they will never apologize. They will propose you eat something you like, some sweets, fruits, or whatever. And most of the Caribbean people can relate to this. 

I also learned that in Japan most of the time it’s the wife who prepares the children’s and husband’s lunch, traditional bento. So, when they want to say something to their husbands, they will do it with the bento. If you have a beautiful bento, with a lot of different food, and a nice presentation, it means that everything is going well. But after an argument, you will probably have only white rice with umeboshi (pickled plum), basically a tasteless food with acid condiments. It’s a good way to express your feelings, it means we should talk, something is wrong. But also, when everything is nice, we should share more.  

Cooking is a kind of non-verbal communication, especially when you are not comfortable expressing your feelings through conversations, it can help you. You want to do it as well as you can. Sometimes you will take the whole day to prepare something nice, choosing the best ingredients. When you love somebody, I think it’s the best way to show it. 

And that’s also how I want to share, I love to cook, I love to eat, and I love to share meals with people who are important to me. 

So, if I already cook for you, that means I really appreciate you. And if you want to share a meal with me, I will be glad to do it with you.

Terry Ruart