Some things in life move us so deeply that they change the way we see the world. They shake our perspective, make us pause, and invite us to breathe differently. For me, that moment came with a book: “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.

This book is not just a piece of writing. It feels like a wave of wellness, a subtle call to the soul. It doesn’t give direct answers, but instead encourages us to ask ourselves the right questions. It is not about telling you what to do or how to live: it is about planting seeds of awareness so that you can discover your own way. That, I think, is why it touched me so deeply.

The book entered my life through a gesture of kindness. It was a gift from the mother of my best friend. She told me that “The Four Agreements” is a book you don’t keep for yourself: you offer it to someone else. At first, I didn’t fully understand why. But after reading it, I realized the truth of her words. This book carries the kind of wisdom that begs to be shared, because its lessons are not possessions; they are doors, opening one after another.

Agreement One: Be Impeccable with Your Word

The first agreement seems simple, almost obvious: be impeccable with your word. But the more you sit with it, the more you realize its depth. Words are not just sounds in the air; they are seeds. They have the power to heal or to wound, to create beauty or to destroy trust.

When I first reflected on this, I saw how careless I could sometimes be with words: toward others, and even more often toward myself. The voice inside my head was not always kind. 

“The Four Agreements” reminded me that language is magic. To be impeccable with our word is to choose truth over poison, compassion over harm. It is about recognizing the creative power hidden in the way we speak.

This agreement taught me to slow down before I speak, to treat words as offerings. It is not about being perfect but it is about being conscious.

Agreement Two: Don’t Take Anything Personally

The second agreement might be the most liberating one: don’t take anything personally. Life is filled with misunderstandings, projections, and mirrors that do not reflect who we truly are. People act and speak from their own world of beliefs, fears, and wounds. Their judgments are rarely about us because they are about them.

This insight helped me accept the absurdism of life. So much of what hurts us does not truly belong to us. When someone speaks harshly, it is their storm, not our sky. By not taking things personally, we step outside of the prison built by others’ opinions.

During difficult times, when I felt misunderstood or judged, this agreement became a shield. It allowed me to forgive more easily, to let go of resentment, and to walk lighter. It is not always easy, but it is a practice that softens the heart.

Agreement Three: Don’t Make Assumptions

The third agreement is deceptively simple: don’t make assumptions. Our minds are restless storytellers, filling in gaps with narratives that often lead to pain. How often do we invent reasons for someone’s silence, or imagine hidden meanings behind someone’s words?

This agreement asks us to replace an assumption with clarity. It reminds us to ask questions, to communicate, to be brave enough to say, “I don’t know, can you tell me?”

When I began practicing this, I noticed how much mental space it freed. The endless circles of “what if” began to fade. Instead of being trapped in invented scenarios, I started embracing truth: even when it was uncomfortable. In that, there is peace.

Agreement Four: Always Do Your Best

The last agreement ties everything together: always do your best. It may sound like advice we’ve heard since childhood, but “The Four Agreements” gives it a gentler, more compassionate meaning.

Doing your best does not mean exhausting yourself or chasing perfection. It means showing up with honesty, giving what you can in each moment, knowing that your best will change from day to day. Some days, your best will shine; other days, it will simply mean surviving. Both are valid.

This agreement taught me to forgive myself for not being flawless, to see value in effort rather than outcome. It broke the chains of self criticism and allowed me to accept my own humanity.

A Mantra for Life

Over time, “The Four Agreements” has become one of my mantras. Not in the sense of rigid rules, but as a rhythm I return to whenever I feel lost. It helps me take a step back from the noise of the world, from the absurd loops of thought that often trap us. It reminds me that freedom is possible: not because life is simple, but because our perspective can change.

This book is not about offering easy answers. It is about reminding us that we already carry the answers within us, if only we dare to look. It encourages us to ask questions, to unlearn, and to rebuild.

That is why I can only recommend it. “The Four Agreements” is a gift, one that continues to unfold long after you close its pages. It is a guide toward forgiveness, self awareness, and liberation of thought. It is not a map with a single route, but a lantern you can carry as you wander through the unknown.

Conclusion

Life is absurd, beautiful, painful, and unpredictable. We are all searching for ways to navigate it, to soften its edges, to breathe through its storms. For me, this small book has been a companion, a reminder that change begins not outside, but within.

And perhaps that is why people say “The Four Agreements” is a book to give. Because once it touches you, you want others to feel that wave of wellness too. You want them to find their own lantern.

I know I did. And I will keep offering it, just as it was once offered to me.

Cassandre Journoud