Have you ever been to a wedding in Macedonia? I have. Very surprised at first that not everyone attends the ceremony at the church. That there is a break between the first part in church and the actual party afterwards. And that the party might end by midnight. But it also might start before noon. Now, let’s skip the comparisons, let’s not think of how we do weddings in Poland. Instead, I will try to grasp the essence of the experience I had here, in Macedonia.

It’s noon, more or less, we arrive at the groom’s place, the house where he grew up. Walking down the street, before you reach the house, you can see where you should go and who is getting married in the neighborhood. The Macedonian flag is raised high, proud, marking the spot. Alongside, there are decorations that guide you from the fence surrounding the house to the yard, spacious, ready to welcome first guests and the first oro (Macedonian traditional dance that everyone–from a few to 100+ years old–knows how to dance).

It’s February. I couldn’t imagine a wedding in the wintertime but Macedonia can surprise you with +15 degrees when in other countries in Europe it is at this very moment -15. It greets us with the sun; the about-to-get-married couple is blessed with the best weather they could ask for, as if someone has ordered it for them directly from the heavens.

The groom awaits us; few guests have already been there before and more are coming shortly after. The number is growing, it’s getting crowded in the house as well as outside at the terrace. The groom, his brother, mother and father ask us if we would like to have something to drink. From now on, they will make sure that our glass will never empty and if we have eaten properly. The musicians are arriving a bit late, because the guy playing accordion was stuck in the traffic. (Nothing new in Macedonia that things might be later than planned but never too late to enjoy.) They are welcomed with an applause and every last guest throws themselves to join, either the dance or the sing. I dance too and I know perfectly that this oro will last not as long as one song but as the medley of songs, so at least the next half an hour. After that, everyone is invited inside, and all the people continue dancing and singing in the house, trying to make the best use of this little space we have (counting 30+ people inside together with the musicians with instruments that require space, especially the drum). The groom is the main figure, all eyes on him. We sing for him, we dance around him. The many hands of males in the room carry him up. The celebration escalates when he stands on the drum, reaching the ceiling with his head. We participate in the feast with all kinds of appetizers, salads, cheeses, meats and sweets. Somewhere between 13:00 and 14:00 it is time to go to “take the bride”. The oro continues, we dance our way out the house and the yard, and dance around the cars parked and ready to take the guests on the journey. The groom’s parents are giving flags to us. We have to attach them to the cars’ windows on the side, best if it’s from both sides, so it is as clear as the sky on this day that we are wedding guests. We are moving in this car parade through Skopje. Music playing loud in each car. Let the world know.

15 minutes later and a few neighborhoods further we are at the bride’s building. Announcing our arrival with music, we dance oro in front, being a spectacle for the whole neighborhood and then we are climbing the stairs to reach the bride’s flat. The crowd is stuck halfway there, because apparently the groom’s side has to break the door to get inside. We enter, eventually, and I can confirm that the door was removed from the frame. Two parties merge into one, the bride’s and the groom’s sides. The flat that is a home for one small family suddenly hosts over 50 people, two big families, with all the aunts, uncles, cousins and closest friends. The young couple shines the brightest. We repeat the ritual from the groom’s place. Singing. Dancing. Eating. Celebrating. Everything more and with more people. I already know all the most beloved traditional songs. “Biser balkanski” (Pearl of the Balkans). “Ja izlezi Gjurgjo” (Come out, o Gjurgja). “Svadba e golema” (A big wedding). “Dosta vreme ergen odev” (I’ve been single for a long time). Outside, before going to church, we do one more big oro–”Makedonsko devojche, kitka sharena…” (Macedonian girl, a colorful bouquet…) Applause from the spectators on the balconies and off we go.

16:30. The ceremony in the church doesn’t last very long. For me, the most interesting part is where pop (the priest) puts the crowns on the bride’s and groom’s heads. From now on they are the king and queen of their home, or be it their kingdom. The crowned couple with pop and closest family go around the sacramental table, bowing; their first steps together as a husband and wife… During this procession, a maid of honor throws the small packages with candy, coin and seeds inside for the guests to share wealth and health with them. Each small gesture or ritual is around the number three. The circling of the table is counted to three. The incantations are repeated three times. The couple take three sips from the cup. And the number three symbolizes the Holy Trinity.

Just married and their guests are leaving the church, saying “see you soon” and coming back to their homes. Shortly. At 19:00 we are expected to celebrate at the restaurant. The ultimate party. The endgame. For me, the third party of the day, if you count the one at the groom’s, the one at the bride’s and now the joint one, where 100+ more guests show up. We take our places in a beautifully decorated restaurant on the rooftop, with a panoramic view of the city. The Champions League anthem comes unexpectedly and the parade of males led by the freshly baked husband enter the room. Proud. Strong. Manly. The bride, now wife, comes forward, and they waltz in the room, their first dance. Everyone smiles and applauds. Everyone is happy for them. Aren’t they stunning? We, the other couples, join the spectacle. Soon, and according to plan and expectations one can have towards the Macedonian wedding, the oro comes. The biggest one. The longest you can imagine. We dance for over an hour–no joking at all–but no one shall quit. The whole eternity is passing and traditional Macedonian music is starting to be decorated with rock riffs. The band is going insane. Just married in the centre, everything is just like they wanted, the wedding is turning into a rock party. From the popular theme from Friends series, through Lenny Kravitz and Bon Jovi, even Eminem, to Balkan evergreens. We hear everything. It’s energetic. Hypnotizing. Youthful. With style. Crazy as can be, just like the many nights spent in Marakana–not the stadium in Brazil, but one of the most iconic rock clubs in Skopje. We dance so much we barely notice that it is already past midnight and the restaurant service starts slowly wrapping up the party. It is done, the day and night to be remembered. An icon of the wedding. Svadba golema.

Ewelina Chańska