I’ll always remember us that way

Why do we always realize how much someone loved us, way too late?

I had a treasure in front of me all this time. A real man. A real love. The only love that someone can ask for. I let it go.

I will never forget his words: “I believed you were the one”, “Can I love you forever?”. I guess not.

It’s like he pushed those words into the very deep of my heart, to tear me apart.

I never knew that a person can feel this way. Empty. Half. Like I’m missing a huge piece.

I’m forced to erase those years from my life. It all stayed there. In the empty apartment.

The same that we decorated together. We did not fill it up only with furniture, but with memories too. I left it all there.

All the memories, all the hopes. Everything we built together.

I feel like I have to split myself in two.

I left my soul, all of my inside with him, and I’m only bringing back my body.

But why do they need an empty body? There’s nothing inside. Emptiness. Darkness.

How do you say goodbye to the only person you care about? How do you let go?

Does it ever get any easier?

How do you even start from the beginning when you are incomplete?

How do you get to smile knowing that you’ll never feel the strength of that hug?

The fire, that his kisses were causing. The only touch you feel on the inside as well. Huh?

I want to remember him happy. With the smile, that I put on his face.

Do you also believe that if it rains when you leave a place, it means you will go back there at some point?

I’m starting to believe it because I already see myself going back there.

In my mind, I’m halfway there. And I’ll always remember us that way.

Olgica Arsova

More from Olgica at: https://emeraraa.wixsite.com/emerara

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