Eyes are the window into one’s soul 
One polished fresh – some dirty and old 
Scratched from cold moments and sunny days 
Shining bright in sunny rays – but only reflected by broken glass

Some eyes seeing more than others can not fathom 
Holding memories deep
The eye contact once soft now hard as steel
Boring into others soft like clay 

Destroying imagination through realization 
No place to no more denay 

Tired eyes screaming to be saved
But everybody too scared to hold the gaze

A broad part of our communication happens unconsciously and through nonverbal cues of our body. One of the most important ones is the eye.

The eye is the most complex organ after the brain. It is a sensory organ that captures light and inverts it into visual images through electrical impulses. But the eye is not just a receiver but also a reflector of our reactions to the impulses explaining the importance for communication. Research even showed that prolonged eye contact induces positive feelings. In one study this was measured by muscle responses like the zygomatic response which is primarily driven by the zygomaticus major muscles. Those are getting automatically triggered and contract the facial muscles that lift the corners of the mouth, making us smile. In the study the zygomatic response was associated with a positive effect which was greater by seeing another person with direct eye contact compared to an averted gaze.
Therefore direct eye contact can make us happy because the brain recognizes it as signals for social inclusion and with that fulfils our intrinsic need to belong. 
The sense of belonging is even recognized as an evolutionary need that impacts our emotional well-being and influences our mental health, quality of life and physical well-being positively. 

Because we perceive approximately 80% of our information through our eyes such as shapes, colours or movements we also show our reaction through our eyes. Within seconds our brain processes all of those impulses and reacts with emotions instinctively without conscious intervention. Our eyes change focus 50 times per second without us even having to think about it. That is because the muscles of the eye are controlled by the automatic nervous system just like breathing. For example blinking can show our emotional state increasing with anxiety, stress, excitement and decreasing when tired or fatigue.
Even our pupils constrict when we are tired but dilate when scared or excited because of the enhanced adrenaline level. It not just reacts depending on the amount of light but is also connected to the emotional center in the brain. Our eyes portray every emotional state unfiltered. 
Therefore eye contact is the most intimate form of non verbal communication as it can foster immediate emotional connection and that is what scares most.

We are living in a world full of filters and distractions, so being seen in real life without being able to mask can feel like exposure. Holding eye contact means tolerating closeness but for some who grew up where emotional expression was discouraged or being looked at meant danger it can be a struggle. Negative life experiences like bullying or trauma often result in social anxiety disorders which are caused by a mix of different factors often of environmental, biological and genetic nature.
Those suffering from social anxiety disorders tend to shy away from eye contact to avoid attention falling onto them. Because attention feels more like scrutiny and possible judgment.
Even though it is common to believe that looking away is linked to lying, research shows that it is more linked to anxiety, thinking hard, shame and cultural norms. For instance the culture around eye contact varies widely from western cultures seeing direct eye contact as a sign of attentiveness, honesty and confidence. Meanwhile in East Asian cultures it is often perceived as disrespectful, confrontational and overly intimate.

The loads of idioms like “love at first sight”, “out of sight out of mind” or “to see eye to eye” still show the importance of eyes for us humans. Despite that, we tend to shy away from eye contact, surrounding it with mystery and vulnerability. Already used in the Torah and Bible as a symbol for the watching god or the “opening eyes” as a metaphor of religious enlightenment, it is till today a common symbol in literature. Shakespeare saw it as the mirror of inner struggles or moral dilemmas and in George Orwell’s 1984 they are a sign of surveillance and the loss of privacy through the big brother.

The eyes can mean many things so let’s not jump to conclusions too easily. 
But next time you meet somebody, take the time to try to catch a glimpse into the world of others through the windows of their soul, their eyes.

Nelli Winzer

Sources:
Your attention makes me smile: Direct gaze elicits affiliative facial expressions | ScienceDirect 
The future of vision and eye care | Hunimed 
Avoiding Eye Contact In Adults: Causes And Coping Strategies | AMFM Healthcare
Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) | Symptoms and causes – Mayo Clinic.