What do people dream of after finishing high school or university? For many, the answer is: freedom. To see the world. Do something completely unknown.

But there is something we tend to forget about. At some point, you will wake up from this dream, which often means going back to your country. What happens then?

After my graduation from high school, I also followed this calling to see the world. To spread my wings and try to fly into new experiences. And honestly, I did not spend too much time thinking about moving back after. Adventure was awaiting, not annoying realism. Now, 8 months later, I will soon fold my wings back in again, and go back home. Am I super excited to be back? Yes. Is the thought of settling back in my hometown scary? My god, yes.

And I am starting to think if after all this, there is a new realization waiting on the other side of my journey. What if it is not all about the travel itself? But also about coming home?

Last weekend, I already got a small taste of what this moving back will be like. For the first time in 6 months I took a plane and touched German ground. I have to say, I was more than excited to go. So happy. But at the same time, there was a big amount of fear boarding the plane in Skopje with me. What would it be like to see my friends? My family? To be home? Would they still recognize me the way that they used to?

When the plane crossed the clouds over Dortmund, it finally gave way to see my home, Germany. There it was, grey and rainy, on a day in the middle of June. 

Despite the lack of sun and light, I felt happiness flowing through my whole body. I left the plane and almost kissed the wet and cold ground. Only to realize after a few meters that in all this excitement, I had forgotten my passport in the plane. Stressed, I ran back. Asked the ground staff if I could just go back inside and get my passport. “My god, if you have to” was the grumpy German answer. “Welcome home”, I thought. 

I left the airport. By the sight of a bakery filled with all my favorite pastries, I almost jumped out of the bus window. 

I arrived in one of my favorite cities to make a short stop. While walking into the city, I heard a woman on a bicycle talking to her husband. “Schatz, we have to stop driving from here on. In this area, only pedestrians are allowed.” I could not defeat my loud laughter. 

At first I just enjoyed these funny moments. I laughed about the ways people behaved that used to be just normal, but now seemed so out of place.

But I also felt something different in the way I interacted with people, and saw all this.

In the train, I noticed a man with his dog. People were glancing at him.

Normally, I would have noticed him for a second, and then continued with my life. This time, something inside me happened. We started to talk.

We spoke about his dog and how cute she was. I told him about my excitement to go back. And I think we both made our day shine a little brighter. 

Even though seeing my friends and family felt like home, and none of my fears in this regard were confirmed, I still felt a bit different wandering through the streets I always used to take. Just not how I had expected it to be.

Maybe that is the biggest chance of going abroad. Not only the time itself. But also coming back after. 

I hope I will keep some of these new ways to see my environment. And always feel a bit weird when I step off my bicycle after entering a pedestrian zone.

Lea Schwegmann