“I never got to see Italy in summertime, I never got to hike on that mountain, I never got to be him” the promises that you make to yourself that will be put into work when you have money or time to do all of them. There will be a time that you will have time and money but the courage will be long gone. Standing in front of the crowd of people enjoying their time and living their life to their full extent and you are there at your very private corner sulking in the shadows trying to figure out what will happen when you hit 30. Instead of enjoying what you have you try to sabotage your chances of being at peace of mind. More and more and more and more. What you want is more, but what you get is not feeding your soul does it? At the coast of a magnificent lake, a breeze that smells fresh is hitting the back of your neck but nothing to remind yourself of that ecstatic feeling. The money you didn’t spend while picking a beaded bracelet is now used for something that doesn’t reflect your soul at all. There are chances hanging around for you to pick them up. All opportunities eventually come to you. These opportunities are looking into your very being, waiting for you to wisely seize one of them. But for some reason, you think that when better ones come along, the old ones will patiently wait for you. You are mistaken. 

If you could stop time, how much more could you enjoy this life? If you had tons of time, how many places could you travel? You keep asking yourself these questions. The fear of not being able to finance yourself adequately at a young age, or of being stuck in a stable cycle as you get older, grips your body from both sides. Your mind is overflowing with things you constantly postpone, making excuses instead. And then you say, “What if this happens, what if that happens, but what if nothing happens?” What if the years slip through your fingers like a chore, and you’re just standing there, muttering incoherently? When you look down, you see a lot of wasted potential beneath your feet. It’s now past ankle level and is pulling you down into the earth with it. These unfortunate events stem from your inability to feel the sun beating down on your back while you question why you’re caught between bad and worse options.

How about that two old traditional minded couple? Save that money for ages and be that man in a government job and all your dreams might be true in 40 years. A car and a house? Why would you wait for that to happen right? Same old stuff you see on a daily basis piling up day by day. But look at that one more time the pile isn’t visible when you squint. You want to know why?That’s what happens when you don’t get to experience your life in a new, fresh way. The same mindset that tells you that the only path to happiness is having a stable life on a static land. Yes rush no fuss. Or maybe more hush no fuss. The things that you put off for longer than you imagine but will it be worth it in 20 years? You aren’t even sure about that. And what is worse that you will never know. All that materialistic dreams that keep you awake at night will fade away and the little meaning that you attached to those concrete dreams will lose if they have. You postponed it, you thought you were safe, but when you tried to do it, it backfired. You are losing the battle against your feelings, is this what is up with your frustrated soul?

While you hesitate to make a decision and follow a path, love is getting postponed unexpectedly. Everything is about you? There are lots of people that you should be thinking about. For one, the person who is touching your soul right now. You fear to be seen or heard without sparkle. Your fear that they will catch you when you aren’t impressive. Or do you fear they will truly know you before you figure yourself out? When all things are said and done’ now you missed another feeling leaving from your cold beam door. Nearly a decade of stolen moments and now you had to let it all out at once. Before you let the night take you, at least give him a chance to enlighten your shadows.

Love only exists when you are alive. Don’t hold any feelings back or don’t try to ignore what you sense at your heart. Let go of the stuff that doesn’t serve you even though you feel like you have to clench onto it. It is what weighs you down. There is that voice behind your ears that keeps telling you to do it when you feel ready. Waiting for the moments that can be swept away easily. The moments that are right for you can be the best choice in your mind, however what you lose is the moments with something or someone that you love. You have to let the people you know that you love them even if it causes you a great deal of pain. Does that sound awful? It would feel awful if you weren’t alive.

Making difficult choices seems like the easy way out until you turn around and life hits harder with all the problems you let piled up. While not letting yourself be free, changing who you are or how you feel should be off the table. So my words to him:

Don’t be late to your own party.

Emrecan Sargin