I wanted to cry like I always do when I grab a paper and a pen. I wanted to just cry until the next day. I wanted to hear more from the people that I’m a loser. I wanted to be negative and toxic like I’m always. I wanted to have someone to hear me out. There was nobody. The world is in need of help, so we cry a lot. I should be listening more to that song “always look on the bright side of life tana nana” and it’s a simple song but with a very deep meaning. Fasten your seatbelts because we are going on a roller coaster ride in the themed park called “LIFE”. Let your imagination loose.

It’s impossible to take away everything from me because I’m stronger than you. Yes, maybe I’ll cry like a baby a time or two but I have the inner strength to say; it’s enough. I’m not going to let you drive me crazy, bring it on. After a time or two, I realize that I’m a grown man that I will fight you for who I’m. I maybe look peaceful but these streets made me tougher than ever. I don’t want to sound like a gangster but within yourself sometimes you just have to be. To push back the evil in yourself and let the light shine through your soul. So I’m just joking I’m not a gangster but I’m a fighter. I lost a battle or two I let myself down. I was blaming the circumstances, I was blaming everybody. It’s time for some responsibility and down-to-earth type of thinking.

We all have the good and the evil spirit within us, right? There is always Yin and Yang, the hard part is to find someone to love you for who you are. There is no real evil in a person. It’s a matter of communication if you smile to the “evil” the “evil” will smile back. It’s a little trick in psychology. We are all equal we all need time for ourselves for self-reflection but unfortunately, we don’t get that time quite yet when we want and how much we want.

Some of us work hard on our self-reflection sometimes we overthink sometimes but it’s all-natural until we reach that point of taking away someone’s freedom. The human beings are social, some of us even too social to distance two meters from everyone, for me, it’s a heart-breaking experience and I always thought that the virus is far-away from us, Iraq, Pakistan, Libya, Syria, Afghanistan, no no those places are far-away from us, we are safe here watching the TV broadcasts and the news. But no one is safe as we can see. No one knows what is going to happen to us tomorrow or in the next week, this gives people huge anxiety. I really hope that next time we will be more aware of US ALL  rather than the ONLY US HERE NOW.

We can wash our hands until tomorrow if we want, the problem is: when we are going to change? I got a question from a friend the other day: “so how you see the world after all this ?”

Well as we can see some animals are really doing great without us, the other thing is that I see the world more aware of how uncertainty can bring us to craziness. Imagine this: no more hugs and kisses! Is it a good thing, well maybe for the introverts but I don’t think it is good even for them. No more sports events, no more traveling, nobody will trust you nothing…you want to express feelings of love you will get hate and fear. I really hope that I’m making a mistake with these statements and that we can hug again. It is painful to see my people in fear in the grocery in the banks in the shops. So…this made me aware of not taking life for granted and to live life to the fullest.

Big boys don’t cry but sometimes they do. Crying is not a solution but we all feel powerless, with bad hairstyles because there are no barbershops that are open. We all depend on one another, we cannot pretend that we are playing a game of the last samurai as much as I wanted. The world in the past has been through much more severe illnesses but I guess we didn’t learn the lesson. If the story is true from the Wuhan market and the bats, then it’s huge payback for what we did to those animals, but we don’t know what is true and what is not. In the era of “information”…I don’t think so. There is a saying: hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Theodore Petkovsky