Once you love, you may also hate…

What is the exact meaning of romantic love? I am more than sure that for most people romantic love means something completely different than it is. The moment I mentioned romantic love, you probably created this lovely, romantic scenery in your head. Two gorgeous people, sunset and bloody red wine in the transparent glasses. The smell of roses in the air, butterflies looming ahead of those lovely birds and? You’d better tell me cause I have no idea what is happening in your head now. Well, I can give you even more examples of movie sceneries but the question is, do you really need it? Hell no! Of course, I am not saying that love doesn’t exist. Love is an incredible feeling that can totally change your life but I am not here to talk about real love. I am here to talk about the biggest threat of the centuries.

I am here to talk about romantic love! The love that made people gone crazy. The one that put them into jeopardy and turned their life upside down. Before I will get to the point I want to make the meaning of romantic love as clear as streams’ water. Well, Romantic love or attraction is a destructive feeling that is making people mad about their love objects. It’s the obsessive thinking and craving for a particular person. The feeling may be similar to being thirsty, love like thirst will make you do strange moves as well as it can open all gates of your madness. Romantic love it’s making you addicted to this strange feeling. It’s even not about this person, it’s about this feeling.

You may feel like you are craving for this person but actually, you are craving for this intensive and full of craziness feeling. Romantic love it’s mostly known from the literature but if you will look closely at your life you may find some examples. Maybe you were the pray of this romantic predator, maybe you have friends who are victims of romantic love, or maybe this romantic stalker is still waiting for you in the corner. 

Romantic love as an inherent part of peoples´ lives. 

We were born to love but we were taught to hate. In the beginning, we were so pure and happy but with passing time we changed. Some of us changed because od stigmas on our hearts, some of us changed because something caused trauma on our poor soul and some of us changed because of someone. It was one day in your life that changed everything that you had, it basically changed you. You may not remember what it was or you can be clearly aware of that factor but more or less this is a part of you now. The point is that there are two factors that can turn us from a pure soul to an unpredictable beast. There is one famous and old truth, you should not bite a dog after being bitten cause you will become one. I met several people in my life that hurt me and when I simply asked them why they did it, you know what they said to me? That they did it because someone did it to them before. Ok, so then why should I be responsible for someones’ rudeness?

Well, I don’t know why and they didn’t know as well. They weren’t even able to answer why someone who didn’t hurt them should be responsible for someones’ actions. It’s not our fault that they were hurt before but definitely, it’s their fault to continue this Bermuda triangle. But you know what is the worst thing about those people? That they didn’t even realize that they turned into their predators. Now they are not victims anymore. They are their own nightmares, they are their own hunters and from now they see their enemies in the mirror. So, if you were hurt before please keep going and don’t look back. If someone did something bad to you it’s not because you deserve it. It’s because it’s something wrong with that particular person. The most important thing over here is not to turn into a predator that hurt us. So, enjoy your life as much as you can and don’t blame anyone for someones’ mistakes and remember the past is not yours anymore, the future is not yours yet but all you have is now. 

Tips from the Romantic teacher.

What this romantic teacher can teach us? Well, it depends on the mistakes that we made on this Romantic road of ours. To make it clear I will give you just some examples that may help you understand how valuable this lesson would be or was. First of all, the tendency in Romantic love is to respect our partners more than ourselves. Don’t do that! You should be aware of your value and you should respect yourself. Moreover, remember that you are equal. There is no one more important in the relation. All of you are equal! 

Don’t limit yourself. The relationship shouldn’t be a prison. If you are with the person that expects you to change your behavior, your interests, your friends, your life, reconsider one more time if that person is for you. Don’t waste your time on someone who actually wants someone different. If that person is changing you it means that the real you don’t satisfy him or her. So, simply don’t be with someone who doesn’t respect you and your life. One day you will meet a person that will appreciate a real you. 

Be aware of what you want and what you need. Talk about your needs and don’t prioritize someones’ needs above yours. 

All in all, I want you to know that you are human and you deserve happiness and respect so please fight for yourself sometimes!

Klaudia Matera